Oregon, Ocean, Mother-Daughter Time

Posted byKathleen Cassen MickelsonPosted inmotherhood, travelTags:, , , , , , ,

Above my writing desk hangs a magnetic bulletin board on which I have photos of my kids, grandkids, partner, friends. One of my favorite pictures is of me with my daughter Abby when we went to New York City after she graduated from high school ten years ago. In the picture, we are each holding a ticket for the Cyclone at Coney Island, the famous wooden roller coaster that opened in 1927. I remember being both scared and thrilled on that ride, involuntarily screaming as the roller coaster went up, down, around. I kept wondering how strong the old wooden structure really was, if I could feel it swaying just a little as we were catapulted through space. Pretty sure my fingernails dugs into the seat I was in. And then, just like that, the ride was over.

How much that feels like parenthood. Up, down, around. And then, suddenly, the kids are adults and you wonder how that happened so damn fast. Too fast, often, to shut off your parental-advice-dispenser in time to escape the wrath of your now-perfectly-capable adult child. You don’t want to believe you’re no longer needed.

Thus, a chance to travel with my daughter to Oregon for a few days in July was an incredible gift, one that I decided would be exclusive. By that, I mean that I didn’t even tell friends who live in Oregon that we were going to be there. My focus was my daughter and our time together, a chance to hang out by the ocean that we both love, and not be stressed about anything.

It was a good choice. We meandered, shared food, soaked up sun and salty air, were quiet much of the time. A visit to the Oregon Coast Aquarium offered Abby’s favorite sea otters. A stay in Newport allowed us both our fill of seafood: clam chowder, calamari, shrimp, crab cakes. A hotel with beach access nudged us to sit on the sand and watch the sunset, notice all the couples from a wedding party doing the same. A tiny rented Mitsubishi Mirage made driving easy, parking a cinch. We stayed clear of Portland until we had to show up for our flight home, arriving the night before, which gave us just enough time to go to Powell’s Bookstore.

I delighted in watching my daughter relax, tilt her face to the ocean, linger over tide pools, watch a whale feed in a kelp bed. We bought a few t-shirts, took a few photos. It was all over so soon, and yet it was just enough.

Here’s to mother-daughter trips, Oregon, ocean. Here’s to making exclusive time for adult children, relishing in who they’ve become, letting them ask you if you’re doing okay and being able to say yes with all your heart.

All photos by kcmickelson 2023

Published by Kathleen Cassen Mickelson

Kathleen Cassen Mickelson is a Minnesota-based writer who has published work in journals in the US, UK, and Canada. She is the author of the poetry chapbook How We Learned to Shut Our Own Mouths (Gyroscope Press, 2021) and co-author of the poetry collection Prayer Gardening (Kelsay Books, 2023).

18 thoughts on “Oregon, Ocean, Mother-Daughter Time”

  2. That really sounds perfect, all of it – avoiding Portland but hitting Powell’s, seeing the aquarium, lazing on the beach, and most of all, easy time together. I never experienced anything like that with my mother, nor have I done that with my only child, a son – except when he was a child there was a trip from NY to San Francisco when he was only two and one to Washington, DC when he was about eight. Good memories. Beautifully composed, as always! Thanks for sharing.

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      1. I was trying to think when I last saw my second daughter. Thanksgiving, I think. With her working 10-12 hours daily six days a week delivering mail for the postal service, it’s difficult for us to see each other. Plus, I haven’t been well enough to travel to Madison. I miss Miranda. I miss Caleb, too, whom I haven’t seen since Christmas. He’s now back living and working in Boston after graduating from Purdue with his master’s in May. Thankfully Amber, Marc and the grandkids live only 35 minutes away.

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      1. It was a revelation to me when I arrived in 1990. So rich and varied in landscapes! And, in spite of all our complaints about rain in winter/spring, this summer is glorious. The best place in the country to be right now with temps in the 80s and a few 90s here and there. AND, the miraculous 60s at night that make mornings incredible. I have a jacket on this a.m. to water the garden!

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